Apart No More
by troesteb
Summary: Santana had made a big mistake-was it too late to fix it? A brief bit of wish fulfillment set one month after "The Break Up".


A month passed before Santana could take it no longer. She texted Brittany tentatively;

_ Would you be free next Saturday? I'd like to come visit and talk in person_.

An agonizing two hours and eighteen minutes passed before a response appeared:

_ OK_.

Several more brief texts followed, establishing when and where they would meet (7:00 PM at Brittany's house). Santana felt a wave of relief wash over her, that Brittany was willing to meet with her, but that relief was almost immediately followed by a pain in her heart and gut. Their relationship had been dotted with big discussions and weighty decisions, but this was going to be one of the most important conversations ever. Santana felt like her whole future was riding on it.

Every moment not spent toiling away at school work or sweating in cheer practice was spent weaving words in her mind, trying to find the right texture and weight. Lengthy conversations with Brittany occurred entirely in her mind and she tried to anticipate both sides of the discussion. She so wanted to be ready.

Saturday came quickly, and the four-hour drive from Louisville to Lima seemed to pass without Santana even being conscious of it. Her thoughts were already engaged in a conversation that hadn't happened yet and her car drove itself to Lima. Brittany's family's house looked so brightly-lit and warm as she pulled into the driveway, but Santana was scared. Five, ten, fifteen minutes from now, she would either be crying from happiness or from heartbreak.

Steeling herself, she got out of the car and knocked on the door. Mrs. Pierce smiled and pulled Santana into a hug, but there was something in her eyes that was a little bit cold, just a glint. She had always been so nice to Santana—both of Brittany's parents made their home Santana's as well. Her stomach felt queasy—had Brittany been so sad for the last month that her parents' opinion of Santana (one of the major causes of that sadness) had hardened?

"Brittany's upstairs in her room, Santana." Mrs. Pierce smiled again but her eyes still didn't match the sentiment, and she went off into the kitchen as Santana mounted the stairs.

After she knocked on the bedroom door and heard the small "Come in", Santana entered. Brittany was on her bed, Lord Tubbington glaring suspiciously at Santana from next to her.

"Hey."

Brittany nodded her head in response, her expression unreadable even to Santana.

A thousand different sentences jumbled in her head and for a moment she really had no idea how to begin. Then, she just blurted out, "I am so sorry—I made the biggest mistake of my life. I was stupid. I thought that being apart, me not being there for you all the time, was hurting you so much and I thought it would be easier if we took a break. I didn't feel like I was being the girlfriend you deserved, the girlfriend who gives you all the wonderful things in the world." The lump in her throat was increasing and the tears in her eyes were already starting to track down her cheeks, but she had to soldier forward. "I shouldn't have just sung you a song and then made a unilateral decision that we were stepping apart for a while. That wasn't fair or respectful to you. You know that I trust you and I trust your judgment unconditionally. We should have talked about it and it's completely my fault that we didn't." She wiped the tears off her cheeks with the back of her hand but more replaced them. "Brittany, I don't know what you've been doing since we talked in the choir room…and it breaks my heart that we haven't been talking…but I know what I've been doing. I've been muddling through each day, getting my school work done and going to practice but feeling like there's a bag of bricks on my lungs. I miss you so much…"

Santana stood there in the Brittany's bedroom for what felt like forever, crying and shaking, until Brittany spoke. "Santana, I missed you so badly from the moment you left for Louisville to the moment you came home with your laundry. I barely got any texts from you and we only Skyped half of the time we planned to. And then, you came back to see me and you broke up with me. You broke my heart."

"But, Britt, it wasn't an official-"

"Santana, you kissed me goodbye. You said it would be the mature thing to take a break. But I didn't want to take a break! I just wanted to talk things over and fix things and I wanted you to still want to be my girlfriend…"

All the strength in Santana's legs disappeared at that last statement and she dropped to her knees, sobbing. Brittany thought that Santana didn't want to be her girlfriend anymore. _Her_ actions had caused Brittany, whom she loved more than anyone or anything else in the universe, who was the most special person ever to Santana, to think that Santana didn't want her. It was too much—the guilt lay like an iron blanket on her heart.

Without warning, Santana felt warm, strong arms encircle her and she buried her face in Brittany's neck, her apologies incoherent against the soft skin. She felt like she cried forever and when the tears slackened a bit, her head was pounding and her whole face felt raw. For the first time in the last several minutes, she actually looked Brittany in the eyes. Those beautiful, perfect blue eyes were swimming with tears as well and her lower lip was still trembling a bit. Santana's heart broke again.

Summoning all of her resolve, her voice thick with tears, she said, "Brittany, I have wanted to be your girlfriend for so long. A year ago, when you confirmed that we were dating, that night at Breadstix, I was happier than I ever thought was possible. And being your girlfriend…it was the greatest thing ever. You are completely right that we should have just talked things over. The reason I came here today, what I wanted to talk to you about…is it too late? While I'm at school, I can't be there for you the way I want. I can't hug you and cuddle with you and share our amazing physical bond, but there has to be some way to talk more, to Skype more, to be able to share our lives better. And I know a lot of that's up to me. You and I, we're living different lives now, but…there has to be an intersection. There has to be some way to hold each other without being in the same room. If I work at it, if I make talking to you every single day an absolute priority no matter what…can I be yours again? Can we fight through this year, until you're out of high school and we can truly be together? Please…"

Brittany kept Santana in her arms and cocked her head, thinking. "How are you going to find time to talk to me if you hadn't been able to before?" It was a blunt question, but she asked it in a soft voice. She wasn't being bitter about the past—she honestly wanted to know the answer.

"Being honest with you, Britt…I don't know. My days really are full to the brim. But the thing is, I'm several months into school. At first, there was so much adjustment and so many new things—it was overwhelming. Now, though, I'm starting to get the rhythm, I guess. I believe it will be easier and easier as time passes. And the thing is, whether it's easy or hard…you are the most important person in the world to me. I am so in love with you and I just cannot not be with you."

"But, San, I don't want you to ruin things just for me. I don't want you to hurt your school work or your cheering or, like, your whole college experience just for me. That wouldn't be fair."

"Britt, I can do this. I can be your girlfriend and I can be a good student and I can be a kickass cheerleader. I know that I can, because I want to more than anything else. I want _you_."

It was Saturday. Santana went back to school late on Sunday so she wouldn't be completely dead for her Monday morning class, but for the rest of Saturday and most of Sunday, she held Brittany and she kissed Brittany and she laughed with Brittany and they talked and talked and talked, from the moment Brittany pulled Santana into her arms there on the floor of her bedroom, to the moment that Santana got back in her car to drive to Louisville.

The next day and the next day and the day after that and every day from then until Thanksgiving, Santana texted Brittany and they Skyped every other evening, without fail. Sometimes, they neither texted nor Skyped, but that was because Santana was in Lima or Brittany was in Louisville and their "I love you"'s and long talks were conducted in person, snuggled together, hands entwined. They were together for Thanksgiving, for Christmas, for a weekend in between, for several more weekends until and after Spring Break. Finally, Santana was standing in the McKinley auditorium, trying not to cry as she watched Brittany accept her diploma.

Brittany S. Pierce began her freshman year in Louisville in August of 2013. After a very successful freshman year for her and sophomore year for Santana, they began a long-distance relationship again, as Brittany transferred to Cornell in upstate New York and Santana transferred to Fordham in New York City. Cornell had one of the leading veterinary programs in the world, and Fordham was perfect for an undergraduate degree in Philosophy and then a law degree. They saw each other as much as possible and spoke every day and finally, Santana had a law degree and moved to Ithaca to be with Brittany. When she passed all of her vet exams, she joined a practice there in Ithaca and Santana joined a law firm there.

On May 17, 2021, Brittany S. Pierce and Santana Lopez got married. They stayed happily, and proudly, so for the rest of their lives.


End file.
